You Think I Care So Little For You?
by crazyphangirl
Summary: It's the night before "Reader, I married him." Edward Rochester is haunted by his actions and questions his bride-to-be.


There was just the few hours of night to pass before Edward and I would make our second venture to a clergyman's door and request a union. I felt most at peace, gently guiding Edward through what was on his plate and providing every sip of drink he requested. However, I could tell throughout the evening's meal, my bridegroom-to-be was growing more and more agitated.

When he batted away the lifted cup in annoyance, I put it down, rang for Mary and together we cleared the table as Edward went off into his study with little a word of thanks. At the sound of a stumble, subsequent thud and curse, Mary exchanged a glance with me. She smiled understandably; I thanked her for our meal, leaving her to finish as I went to see what damage had been done. It was nothing more than a kicked foot stool, now thrown dangerously close to the fire. I righted it back into its place, noting inwardly that the very last thing we needed was another house destroying inferno.

Edward was by the window, standing by its opened casing resting a forehead and cheek on a cool pane, his breathing steadying against whatever demon wrestled within.

I approached, boldly taking his hand and wrapping his arms around me as I leaned into him. He accepted the embrace, and I felt my breath hitch from the tightness of his hold on me. I began to share what I could see out the window, how the moonlight dabbled through the trees, how I was certain there was a silhouette of an owl on a branch nearby. As I chilled, I shivered and Edward pulled me from the open window. He dropped his embrace and guided me to the seat by the fire.

"I'd be more comfortable in your lap." I suggested, "I have grown quite accustomed to that arrangement these last few nights. I believe I would prefer it to be my place come all evenings of our marriage."

There was a hint at the deep chuckle I wanted to elicit from him, but the mention of marriage darkened his brow and that frown creased further as he settled into the seat, dragging me down with him. I reached up and ran a finger across it as I got comfortable.

"What is it, Edward?" I finally inquired. "Tell me you haven't decided that you don't love me best after all? Shall I have to go fetch Miss Blanche Ingram?" I kept my concern light, adding a teasing remark that earned me a gentle poke to the side, but I confess to feeling a flicker of anxiety flutter in my stomach. I would stay true to my word, he wouldn't be rid of me so easily.

"You are going to marry me, Jane?" He asked in disbelief, even as his arm wrapped around me and his face pushed into my hand that had moved from his brow, toyed with his wild mane of hair and now cupped his cheek and chin close.

"Why wouldn't I marry you?" I asked with a giggle, bringing his mouth to steal a chase kiss, but his good hand raised to press against my lips instead. I pulled back, studied his hard, darken face, the wetness that seemed to well in those eyes, I gripped his face into my hands, thumbs swiping away at any tear drops that fell down.

He tried to shake out of my grip but froze when I let my nails nip into his skin, he stopped and closed his eyes, "Because of what I did!" He cried out. "What I put you through, I-" He trailed off, gasping for air, as his sightless eyes flew open in anguish. When he slumped forward into my chest, I held him.

"Ah," I said understanding at last. "I have thought about this a lot in the last year. I had those who'd advised me not to dwell so on the past, but I had to. It was too painful. That pain deserved attention." With a deep breath, I went still and serious as I spoke. "You betrayed me." His sobs quieted as my words fell on him. "Edward, you betrayed my trust. You betrayed our friendship. You betrayed everything I have ever stood for." his fingers gripped my skirts, twisting their fabric as the tears flowed, leaving dark stains behind. I pulled his head up and pressed my forehead to his. My last statement was a whisper. "You let me down."

His good hand gripped my neck in a vice pinch before dropping it and he slumped back away from me. He pushed me from his lap and I gently rise but didn't leave his side; I kept my hand on his arm to let him know I have not moved far.

"Exactly, Jane! I was a monster to you. Not just to you, to those around me. I don't deserve this." His hand found mine. "I don't have your goodness, Jane. Even if I did, I wouldn't know if I would return to a wretched creature such as I. So I ask you in complete seriousness, Jane. Why would you want to marry me after I betrayed you so?"

"Why?" I ask softly, once again turning his face to mine and pressing my lips to his forehead, to each of his cheeks finally on his dark lips, "You think I care so little for you that betraying me would make a difference?"

His breath hitched, and he hiccuped a surprised chuckle. "You astound me, Jane."

I smiled down at him as I settled myself back into my place on his lap. "God has seen to you. Humbled you, my fierce master. Your actions have not passed without their consequences." I let fingers drift over his eyes and around the healing stump on the end of his arm. He twitched his arm as if to jerk it away but I catch it firm and bring it to my cheek. He hissed out in annoyed agony. I place the gentlest of kisses on it before I released it back to the armrest. "You will get no more punishment from me, my beloved Edward."

He leaned forward with a deep sigh, there was reverence in his blank gaze, and I feel it deep within his kiss. We stay snuggled together as the fire died down, before finally we take ourselves up to our rooms, bidding goodnight to one another.

"On the marrow, you are my bride." He promised.

"And you shall come back here, my husband." I affirmed.

We closed our doors, all too eager to have this one more night of separation pass quickly.


End file.
